Angry Jess' Guest Judge Pick, Round 3

The other AGPT mods told me I couldn't make fun of anything as a Guest Judge. Oh ye mods of little faith, you ever fail to understand my sensibilities. Because, really, think about it: why would I mock creative improvements on AG fashions? After all, I hate most everything AG makes.

Frankly, it's hard to choose a winner for this round because I think everyone who has striven to eclipse the concepts cooked up by AG's fashion designers is made of awesome and win. But a winner must be chosen, so I spent several Frangelico-fueled evenings perusing the entries.

Now, we all know how partial I am to the skillful use of language and evocative imagery. Given that, I could have gone with the Safari Sundress because it made me think of storms on the savanna. Yay, thinking. I'd like to see that one on a real runway model, to determine whether lightning really does strike the crotch area when she moves. It would get ten gazillion extra points if it does. Likewise, since the narrative for the Rustic Ranch one used the words 'crotch gusset" a lot, it should get four hundred millionty extra points for that alone. The Flutter Flower re-do used the phrase 'pucker power' in its narrative, and that amused me endlessly...plus the devil is in the details on this one. I mean, tons of details, what with dying fabrics and such.

Truth is, I am partial to the outfits that demonstrate that the devil is in the details, seeing as how the devil is rumored to be a close personal friend of mine. (I won't comment on the veracity of that rumor). So given that, my pick is: Neohealy's Sweet Melody Outfit. Let's face it, anything anyone did to improve the AG original would be a boon to society, but this one took the concept up several notches. I am impressed with the creative elements that were added. Granted, there is room for skill improvement, but that is just one aspect of this competition. This outfit, it hollers hip and trendy tween -- which is a good thing since you're designing for hip 10 year olds. It wouldn't go on my hips, because I only use suspenders for bondage purposes. (Yeah, go ahead, pause to imagine the visual. Are you done? Okay, back to the outfit). The sheet music bag is a fun add-on, and I approve of the leggings (although the resemblance to Hefty Extra Wide Drawstring Doll Ass Bags was unfortunate in that one photo, but we'll ignore that since it's not a photography contest). The tulle skirt, while bulky in construction, is all over stores like Justice and the like. Or so I'm told; I don't even know. Lastly, while I am not one to own anything with hearts on it, I give 400 million points to the creativity element of the musical notation on that shirt. Although yeah, next time lose that tape and go with iron-on. We all know I'd rock that topless look with suspenders and tie in the one photo, but you didn't stick with that look, so too bad for me. I award 1500 extra points for a fun presentation photo. This one, it is my pick. So, yeah.